In the last Newsletter I dealt with how you can take effective, personal action when dealing with children, and others for that matter in times of crisis. Unfortunately, in these critical times, when emotions are high mistakes are too easily made. For kids with a history of abuse/neglect their fragile sense of self and their hypervigilance for threats in their environment means any mistake you make really will have a substantial impact on your relationship, damaging your most valued asset.
We will examine potential mistakes, by the teacher, then the students’ attempts to manipulate the teacher and finally blunders during communication between both parties.
Mistakes by the Teacher
Many of these described mistakes are the opposite of what was outlined in the previous Newsletter but they are worth discussing in this format. These are:
Ignoring Conflict – It is not unusual to read advice on behaviour management to ignore the behaviour. And, I agree there are times to do this but only when the ‘mistakes’ are a function of the student’s development, it may be inappropriate but not expected by students of that age. However, it would be rare for ignoring conflict in your classroom. Too often, teachers are so tired, unprepared or so overwhelmed they choose to ignore the behaviour for some ‘short term’ peace. This of course, never happens.
React Before Thinking – Making decisions, on the run is a dangerous practice. You have to accept that in these times emotions will be running high and we know there is an inverse relationship between emotional elevation and rational thinking. Have a plan before you get into conflict resolution.
Making Stupid Threats – Never threaten a consequence you can’t deliver. I remember listening to an excellent teacher dealing with an aggressive, conduct disordered child who was dangling his leg out the classroom window. What I heard was ‘if you put your leg out the window one more time I will break it!’ Now, the bone in the leg is very difficult to break without using extreme force so that was not likely to be a consequence the teacher could deliver and, as the principal supervising this teacher I could only imagine the paper-work that would have followed if he was successful! I use this humorous but real example to illustrate how silly threats can be – you must understand you can’t make anyone do anything. All you can do is provide the consequences and allow them to make the decision and you can’t deliver consequences that are unethical or illegal.
Pulling Rank – a common mistake is making a statement like you will do that because I’m the teacher, reminding the student who has the most ‘position power’. However, position power is never a match for personal power. All it takes is a child to say something like ‘make me’ and you are in deep trouble. In my career I have been confronted with just such a scenario; even when I pointed out the consequence the child would challenge my ability to deliver the consequence. However, I had a sequential plan that was known to me and delivered in steps to the child in question. The last step was always to call the police which I had to do on many occasions. In fact, because I had always followed through my plan when I got to this stage other students would tell the student in question ‘he will do it’. That endorsement more often than not brought closure to the conflict.
Talking too Much/Little – You only have a small window to make your point. Say what you need to say stop and listen to the child. The more you talk the less they listen however you need to make sure they know exactly what will happen. It is a time when you can use the well-known conflict resolution technique:
When you …. Say swear at me
I feel … really hurt
Because … I don’t deserve to be talked to that way
However, this approach may be effective dealing with appropriately functioning kids but in times of crisis I would use:
If you … say throw that chair
I will … suspend you
This process would need to be repeated with differing scenarios as the conflict moves to a crisis.
Offering Time-Out from an Unattractive Environment – Time-out (see Newsletter - Time Out 17th July 2017) is only effective if the classroom is attractive to the student. This should not be an issue, children love to belong where they are valued. Unfortunately, too often I have seen students sent out of the classroom to stand next to the door. Before long others have manipulated the teacher to send them out as well and soon there is a ‘party’ going on in the corridor. Time-out is an effective consequence but only if it is well organised and I urge you to visit the Newsletter about this topic.
Personally Attacking the Student – This is a critical mistake, things like ‘you’re just like your brother’, ‘why did I think someone like you could act appropriately’, you (put any ethnicity in here) are all the same’ the list goes on. Not only do you alienate the student involved the other kids will observe this and lose respect for you. Always, always it is the behaviour we reject, never the child.
Not Modelling what you Expect – This is a case where the faulty message ‘do as I say not as I do’ is on display. Your integrity is an invaluable asset but is only maintained if you are consistent in acting the way you expect your students to act. If you’re always late for class it would be immoral to punish a child who is late for class.
Manipulation by the Student
The following are some examples of how students try to deflect their responsibility for their behaviour. These include:
Plead and Deal – This is where the student tries to get the teacher to ‘let them off’. They make promises like, ‘I’ll never do this again’, ‘If you let me off this time I’ll clean-up the room’ or dangerously ‘If you suspend me my father will bash me’. This last one is very difficult and how you respond is very age-dependent. It may well be the truth that the child will be hit if they are suspended and this does place the teacher in a difficult position. I suspect very young children would not say this unless it was true and then the teacher has a moral and legal responsibility to report this to the authorities. Older children can use this plead to avoid responsibility even if it’s not true you will have the same responsibilities. I would take the following steps:
I would ask if this has happened before – if yes then I report the abuse if no I tell them that their parent is not allowed to hit them and if they do they must tell me – then I would report
I would also contact the parent and inform them of what their child has said, explaining that I think they are just trying to get out of trouble but reminding them of the law and my responsibilities
I understand this is very precarious situation so I would also inform my superior officer to get my approach approved and recorded
This is a difficult situation.
Deflecting – This is when the child brings up past events saying why you didn’t punish someone else in the past for what they consider the same behaviour ‘Why didn’t you send Jane out when she did this’, you always pick on me’, ‘It’s because I’m black, a Muslim’, ‘You don’t do this to girls’, the list is only limited by their imagination. And be aware these students are really good at finding those things you care about and using them against you; ‘you never pick on the kids in the choir’.
This is not the time to defend yourself, that’s what they want. Once you engage in a discussion arguing your impartiality you have lost, if you start they won’t finish until you concede; this is when you use the ‘broken record’ approach. For the younger readers when old records were scratched the needle would often become stuck on one groove and so the contents of that groove would be repeated over and over again until someone turned it off. Use this ‘broken record’ approach by dealing with each deflection with something like ‘I’m not interested in that now – you have to leave the room’. Eventually they should stop and, if you think it is worthwhile you may explain to them why you acted that way at a later time but not when you are delivering the consequence.
Use the Crowd – Some students are very popular in the classroom or have a powerful group of peers and they can join in pressuring the teacher. This can be very confronting especially to inexperienced or timid teachers. This can be as simple as their ‘friends’ arguing on their behalf or creating other levels of disturbance that you have to stop dealing with this issue to address what they are doing. You must keep all the students safe and you may have to pay close attention to what is happening but immediately that issue is resolved you return to the original matter.
Problems created by both parties
These last ‘mistakes can be made by either the teacher or the student. They are:
Poor Timing – this is when there is a dispute but the aggressive contender starts an argument when the other is distracted. Not only will they catch the other ‘off-guard’ the ‘other’ will be focused on something else and might dismiss the issue. The result is there is no conclusion to the dispute.
Sand Bagging – this is very similar to deflecting but it is not really referring to how the teacher dealt with other students it is bringing up other problems not relevant to current situation. This is another time the ‘broken record’ approach can be used but it is unlikely the student will have that skill.
Blaming – saying ‘you’re the one who is wrong. I didn’t do it’ best sums up this approach. It is hard to argue with this because it is so unreasonable and you find yourself defending your actions and not dealing with the issue at hand.
Leaving – this is when one of the contenders just ups and leaves the discussion. This way they avoid any confrontation and therefore there is no conclusion. This approach does not resolve the situation and it must be dealt with eventually. Teachers who do this can be guaranteed the issue will happen again so it is best to deal with it at the time. If the student ‘walks away’ then the teacher should not ‘resume normal duties’ until the issue is resolved.
Loss of Temper – when you lose your temper you lose self-control and become disempowered. If the teacher does this they lose more than control of the current situation they lose the respect of the other students. If it is the student then don’t continue until they have regained some self-control.
Avoiding Responsibility – I saw Bart Simpson use this in an episode of the Simpsons and I refer to it as the Bart technique, ‘You didn’t see me, you can’t prove it, I didn’t do it.’ Just remember it is not a court of law so the teacher can provide a consequence when they are confident they are in the right. It is very much more difficult for the student but in a good school each student should have a teacher who can advocate for them.
Playing the Martyr – mostly, like all these are most often used by students but this is more common with teachers. They become ‘hopeless’ claiming they can’t do what is required. In some cases, particularly with students they will threaten suicide (this threat should never be dismissed but is the subject of a future Newsletter). Teachers will rarely use this technique with students but it is not unusual to do this when dealing with a supervising staff member. Instead of dealing with the situation they want the other to take responsibility.
This is an exhaustive list of common mistakes. It doesn’t take much insight to see that each one is exclusive and both teachers and students will form numerous versions of each identified scam. All of these can be avoided by using the script outlined in in the Newsletter Teaching Practical Boundaries (31st July 2017) and this is:
‘What is really happening’? This is often not the obvious event
‘Who is responsible’?
If ‘me’ then I must take responsibility, take-action to address the cause of the stress
If not ‘me’ then I ask a further two questions:
‘What is causing the attack’?
What do I have to do to change this situation in the long run’?
Never, when possible leave a dispute unresolved; having some unresolved problem will destroy any attempts to create a working relationship in your classroom.
This document provides further comments regarding the new Student Behaviour Strategy. This is a result of being exposed to the ‘Telethon Kids Institute’s Strengthening school and system capacity to implement effective interventions to support student behaviour and wellbeing in NSW public schools: An evidence review’ which it is assumed underpinned the proposed Behaviour Strategy. (Even the title of this review is problematic and would suggest it has been written by a committee.)
I would like to make the following observations that may assist your review of the feedback you have sought.
This report is quite extensive and a very thorough synopsis of what evidence is currently available. As stated it is created “from three sources of evidence: 1) NSW educators’ current practice, capacity and context perspectives and experiences (focus group and interview consultations); 2) Existing international and national policy and practice (Think Tank with experts); and 3) Robust peer-reviewed published evidence describing student behaviour interventions and system-level implementation supports (review of empirical literature).” However, my comment is that, although very concise it produces no new evidence that has not been available in the numerous reports that have preceded it. Further, it is so densely presented it is useless for the average classroom teacher or for that matter school executive considering the well documented evidence of a work-force in crisis over the vocational demands they face. As a retired principal and long-time researcher of student behaviour I found it to be challenging despite my interest and lack of relative time demands.
I will make my criticisms is general terms.
Evidence Based Practice
Most research into behaviour management is carried out on a case-based manner, that is, the context is between individual students and the teacher. Classrooms are not equipped to implement most findings as the teacher is:
Not properly trained to do this
Responsible for up to 29 other students who are entitled to their attention
Tasked with delivering a set curriculum programmed to be provided in the time allocated
Evidence based practice is a well-worn cliché that appears in a succession of documents and of course should be the foundations of all practice. However, when you examine closely the ‘evidence’ it becomes more obscure. The reasons for this are:
Most evidence is a result of self-reporting, by the student or teacher and this is particularly problematic.
Observational evidence is also uncertain as findings are often limited to the ‘check-sheet’ provided
I have rarely, if ever seen a study that has a hypothesis and therefore a null hypothesis where results are compared to a control group.
The use of Expert Advisory Groups and the Think Tank participants is a problem. Not that they are not all eminently qualified for their professional work, that work is not in the classroom dealing with one or more severely disruptive students while trying to fulfil their professional ‘teaching’ duties; this results in a top-down attitude which disempowers teachers. This perceived lack of relevance on the teachers’ behalf diminishes any enthusiasm for the adoption of the program.
Use of commercial programs is also of limited value. There has been a succession of these programs the latest being based on positive psychology. All of these are of some use but:
They fail to deal with students with severe behaviours; the PBL resource acknowledges this limitation. But it is these very dysfunctional students who are beyond the skill set these programs are providing teachers
Schools who adopt these programs require a substantial investment of time to develop their practice
Staff transfers quickly dilute the whole-school approach unless the training is an annual event
Finally, trauma informed practice is another well-worn cliché but this has more dangerous implications. Of course, it is important that teachers understand the problems students who have suffered trauma face. However, the diagnosis of trauma covers a wide range of disorders and it is really the role of mental health professionals to deal with these issues. It is extremely dangerous for non-professionals to embark on any therapeutic interventions both for the child and the teacher. Instead of being encouraged teachers should be warned about the dangers of embarking on such activities.
My belief is that it is the teacher’s task to provide an environment that minimises the triggers that would initiate a ‘traumatic response’. This is achieved by providing structure and strong expectations delivered through a professional supportive relationship between the teacher and the students. This is where teacher training should be focused.
In the previous Newsletters we have discussed the characteristics of a behaviour crisis in the school and how to deal with them. This latest essay focuses on the personal actions that will help the classroom teacher deal with this situation. As acknowledged, these incidents do take a toll on all concerned, the student, the teacher and their classmates but being prepared helps you stay in the present and not make reactive decisions you may later regret. This applies after the peak of the crisis has passed and the child, at least is capable of appreciating the situation.
In the first instance, you need to present your case in an assertive but not aggressive manner. The following will help:
Continue to act as if their behaviour has no effect on you
Maintain a steady, positive gaze, present a confident posture
Speak clearly
Maintain appropriate eye contact
Stand up straight.
Remain silent after you have delivered the message
Let them know exactly what was going on, be specific about the behaviour and be careful not to personalise your ‘criticism’. It is always the behaviour we disapprove of never the child so be careful not to let any personal anger influence this process.
This is the time when you can rely on the structured, predictable environment we have always emphasised. When you have this in place being able to deliver the known consequence for the behaviour, allows the process to become impersonal and the student learns that they can have some control over what happens to them. This won’t happen quickly but the more you create the structure and the more you consistently apply the consequences, it will empower the student and because you are predictable the student will maintain a healthy relationship with you – they begin to trust you. Never apologise for not getting emotionally involved. This doesn’t mean you become like a robot but your body language should convey your continued respect for the child – they are separate from their behaviour.
When you have delivered your message remain silent to allow them to digest it and make-a-decision about how they will react. Be careful about this, some children are very good at using silences as a weapon forcing the teacher to make decisions for them. This is a particular tactic for kids who have been so disempowered they don’t know they are allowed to decide. This is when you can explain to them it is their decision or if you think they are just avoiding their responsibility tell them you are going on with your ‘work’ and will get back to them when they are ready. When they are ready give them your undivided attention, in fact, always give them your undivided attention. You could say something like “I know you’re really angry now; you need time to settle down” but if you do go on with another activity do so without antagonising them. This is the ‘art’ of behaviour management.
When they are ready to engage with you in an appropriate manner and if they are capable, get them to explain the purpose of their behaviour. This is mostly beyond the capacity of very young kids and in this instance, you can teach them about the purpose of behaviour (all behaviour has a purpose). But, if you can, listen to them carefully, accepting genuine attempts at honesty. Some practitioner’s advice is to empathise with the student. I understand the motivation but find the concept of empathy concerning – it is impossible to really understand what it’s like ‘to walk in these abused/neglected kid’s shoes’, you can’t and if you have a similar history this would be even more dangerous. I prefer having compassion rather than empathy, it is more honest. However, it is an extremely complex subject to articulate but it is a message that comes through with your non- verbal skills. These kids are extremely vigilant and will see through any false efforts to engage with them.
However, we all know that it is more likely to be a time when they will want to deflect the responsibility on to someone else. The next Newsletter will go into more detail how this follow-up process could go wrong.
The use of this information is a great example of our model for effective classroom management, that is the need for structure, expectations and relationships. These are implicit in all our work and have been discussed more specifically in newsletters:
Creating Structure 12th August 2019
Special Relationship 10th September 2020
Expectations 17th February 2020
Finally remember you never, or rarely deal with a crisis in isolation almost always there are spectators, your other students or colleagues who are watching what you do. This is when the maxim ‘what you do is so loud no one can hear what you are saying’ applies. How you deal with the presenting situation will have such an impact on, not only the relationship you have with the offending student it will with all the other students. When they see you following the structure, staying in control of your own emotions you maintain your integrity and become a positive model for other. Your reputation is the currency that embeds you within the school and students will come to your class with a positive expectation about how they will be treated and through this you have won half the battle.
Lifting educational outcomes through early intervention and targeted support.
The following is a submission regarding the proposed new strategy to deal with student behaviour in public schools.
This current proposal is one of successive attempts to deal with severely disruptive student behaviour in schools. Historically all have failed and, despite the best intentions nothing in this new proposal indicates that this undertaking will be any different. The impediment to success has always been the failure to deal with children at the severe end of the behaviour spectrum. Within all previous and projected behaviour strategies there is an implied but mistaken belief that these children have the ability to self-regulate their behaviour. Until it is accepted that these children are as physically and psychologically disabled as those born with or acquired an impairment from an injury, they will not receive the attention they deserve.
These children suffer from a range of mental health and social issues that are beyond the capacity of a teacher to manage. A significant number have diagnosed illness including autism but the vast majority of those who ‘act out’ in class will attract the finding of conduct disorder or oppositional defiance; which is the consequence of early childhood abuse and/or neglect. The impact of these physical insults on the structural development of their brain is well documented with significant reductions in neurologic size in crucial areas. These include the cerebellum, amygdala, hippocampus and frontal lobes. This interferes with their ability to modulate their moods and make calm decisions.
The following features should be considered:
It is estimated that between 1% and 11% of the population will suffer PTSD resulting from childhood trauma and in some areas, the proportion can be up to 26%.
Students suffering other mental illnesses have behaviours that contribute significantly to this problem.
The distribution of the students who present the associated behaviours is irregular but closely related to socioeconomic conditions in the community.
Interventions based on cognitive approaches are marginally successful. A more appropriate approach is the provision of highly structured environments with an elevated level of personal support (healthy relationships).
Consequences do not need to be severe but they do need to be consistent and persistent to allow the students to regain a sense of personal control.
Successful interventions to assist students who exhibit these severe behaviours are never short term. Change is difficult and time consuming but it can be achieved.
The community, represented by the department should understand that these behaviours are a result of abuse and/or neglect that has been inflicted on them when they were defenceless. There is a moral and ethical imperative to really address this problem.
At the heart of this policy is the desire to provide equity for all students in the schools. It has been identified by leading educator Professor John Hattie that the absence of students with severe behaviours and the climate of the classroom are the second and third leading cause of improved learning outcomes; the first the student’s ability to self-evaluate. This means that the presence of these students put all other students at a disadvantage and this must also be considered a failure to provide equity. That is, students in a class where one or more of these students attend are at a disadvantage to those who are in classes without such students.
Research conducted on the impact distractions can have on intellectual performance ranges from 13 – 14 IQ points based on the Raven’s Scale. This research considered economic scarcity nonetheless the distraction caused by the presence of threatening classmates would in all probability increase this loss. The impact of such an intellectual performance deficit would take a student with a superior IQ to perform at an average level and those with an average level to achieve at a borderline deficit level. This finding explains Hattie’s conclusions.
The statement “Under the new policy framework, teachers and school staff will be required to consider the impact of a student’s disability and uphold the student’s right to access and participate in education on the same basis as other students” covers the equity considerations of the disabled child. However, and this is an area the department could find themselves vulnerable to litigation, any child who is in a classroom where there is a child with severe behaviours is, based on Hattie’s work and common understanding not able to get the same educational opportunity as students who are in classrooms without behaviour problems. Equity is for every student.
This does not mean the focus is off these disruptive students, as stated above they have a real disability and should be provided with the same support as is provided for all disabilities. A student who has a profound physical disability is provided with all the support they need. This allocation of support should be commensurate for students with severe behaviours.
The emphasis on the use of suspension as a method to manage severe behaviour is also predictable and destined to only exacerbate the problem for schools unless there are some real changes to the training and resources available to implement an alternate negative consequence for severe behaviours.
Schools do not suspend as a first and only resort. In a previous submission made, on behalf of the Secondary Principals Association it was concluded that it takes on average 3.2 hours to complete the suspension cycle. It was also determined that actual suspensions only made 14% of all behaviour management work carried out by a senior executive in a secondary school. Based on suspension details from one district, the then Western District would require 124.7 hours per week just to deal with student welfare issues. This equates to more than three executives doing a 40-hour week just addressing this problem. With the acknowledged substantial increase in the workload in recent years it is clear no school can provide adequate support for behaviour issues and suspension is the only alternative.
Any attempt to reduce the availability of what is effectively the only consequence schools can deliver for physical and psychologically dangerous behaviours will be met with resentment by schools and teaching staff who are already working in an environment consistently described as fulfilling unmanageable demands.
There is no doubt that this process is undertaken will ethical and compassionate intentions and it is in the last two targets real change to the management of student behaviour could be achieved.
2. ‘Building capacity across the workforce through embedded and continuing professional
learning’
There needs to be a thorough review of training for behaviour management of teachers. The current reliance on ‘professional programs’ such as those based on the positive behaviour movement who, by their own admission does not deal with these severe behaviours is destined to fail. Also, the emergence of ‘trauma-informed’ approaches that are appearing in the literature are also inadequate. This is a welcome development however; any examination of these programs reveals not much that can be applied by the classroom teacher but is more relevant to improving therapeutic interventions by mental health professionals. Any ‘intervention’ must be one that a teacher can employ and if unable the disabled child should be given specialist support that allows them to function and their class mates continue their learning un-interrupted.
Schools including their teachers need training in how to manipulate the learning environment to minimise conditions that trigger out of control behaviour by these vulnerable students. This requires an understanding of providing structure and expectations in a setting built on professional, supportive student-teacher- school relationships. This is appropriate work for teachers; any intervention above this level moves into the domain of health professionals and teaching staff have no business in this area.
3. ‘Commissioning behaviour services to deliver improved outcomes’
From the statements made for proposed future directions it would seem that there is a push to outsource solutions to the problem of severe behaviour management. There are two issues about this approach:
There is a history of investigations into this problem both in NSW, throughout the country and across the world. Another expert enquiry would do little more than delay the inevitability of having to do something about this problem.
The idea schools can use the services of other government agencies has been advocated since the early 1990’s when terms like ‘seamless integration’ were used. This approach has never worked not the least because all public services do not have the flexibility to facilitate such an integration.
The use of ‘private providers’ is fraught with danger; invariably marketed behaviour management programs have a ‘one size fits all’ approach and to expect the same service to be successful across the vast diversity that is NSW schools is senseless. based on the lack of success in other privatised organisations this approach is not an option if real change is to be made.
The school, and by extension the department owns the problem and is obliged to provide the solution. The real remedy is to prioritise the problem at the school level by providing the training, resources and support that is demanded by their disability. These could/should include:
Advanced training in classroom management and the design of appropriate learning environments
Specialist staff to provide ‘in school time out’ on a case-by case basis
Access to mental health providers
Acknowledgement of the special skill set within the quality teacher’s standards
Special settings for students whose behaviour is extreme and where staff receive advanced training and professional mental health support to deal with these students
There is no doubt that the problems created by students with severe behaviours is amongst the greatest impediments to learning outcomes and there is no disputing that public schools have a disproportionate number of these students and they are not equally distributed across socio-economic regions. Therefore, it is accepted that public schools have to deal with the problem caused by these students and that is the loss of learning both their own and their classmates not to mention the psychological and sometimes physical abuse of other students and staff members.
Dealing with this problem is not only a health and safety issue it is a profound ethical issue that the members of this enquiry must face. It should not a problem that is ‘glossed over’ again.
In the last Newsletter we discussed the ‘exploding kid’ and how to deal with the outbreak. In this Newsletter we examine the evolution of a crisis and steps to take to deal with each step. The illustration below attempts to map the progression however, the time line can vary quite a bit. In some instances, a few children will take a while to get to the crisis level yet other kids, or other situations may see the escalation from calmness to a situation of being ‘out of control’ almost be instantaneous.
As can be seen, the entry into the crisis is fairly linear as is the road to recovery however, the crisis is not always even but can be a series of ups and downs. Each is unique but each represents a student ‘out of control’. The teacher has to deal with all the conditions of this cycle.
It is important, especially when working in a highly volatile classroom to have a ‘management plan’ in place before an event takes place. This essay will help you formulate that plan.
Even though it is not always obvious to the teacher there will be something that ‘triggers’ the cycle and increases the stress levels in the child. As we know this moves the child’s cognitive process into a defensive mode and they revert to what they are comfortable with. The process of concrete thinking relates to previous experiences that the current situation reminds them of, for example, it may be that the protagonist reminds them of someone who has abused them in some way.
The student may become emotional, they can be restless or argumentative. Their body language indicates heightened levels of stress, tense muscles, tight fists etc.
By knowing possible triggers for a student may enable you to remove them or reduce their occurrence
It is possible to stop the escalation into crisis mode, this can be done by:
Early reassurance or distraction to prevent escalation
Acknowledge the child’s feelings and ask what’s wrong “I can see you’re angry, what’s up?”
Listen and let them get it off their chest
Discuss solutions where possible
Be supportive, calm and friendly
Respect their personal space
Encourage them saying you know they’ll do the right thing even though they’re upset. “You were angry but I can see you’re working hard at calming yourself ….. Good for you!”
Remind them of expected school rules
Direct them to an activity to engage their thoughts or discharge energy build-up e.g. school work, carrying things for you
Don’t personally react in the early stages to minor challenges:
Don’t stand too close or touch them
Model non-hostile body language, hands off hips, fists unclenched, no finger wagging
Remind them of previous success they have had in gaining self-control; acknowledge their strong emotions but show confidence
Consider physical activity e.g. a supervised run
If this fails you move into the crisis phase where the child is ‘out of control’. As can be seen in the illustration this is not necessarily a straight path to a climax, although it may be but can oscillate within the bounds of lack of control. The child may:
Although it is a time where the teacher has little control over the child’s behaviour they have to ensure their own behaviour does not exacerbate the situation. They should intervene:
Using a firm, low voice, use their name and give a short clear instruction and repeat it several times if needed (broken record). Keep tone and volume of voice consistent
Realize there are times they may need to stand back and let a tantrum run its course. It may be necessary to remove other students/audience
Don’t attempt to intervene in a playground fight without back-up. Say STOP and send for help
After outburst get child to time-out ASAP
Be aware of your own reactions, take some slow deep breaths.
Eventually the crisis will pass.
The last stage is recovery when the child, and teacher move back to homeostatic equilibrium when:
The student’s body chemistry is returning to normal
With the battle over the muscles become progressively more relaxed
Ritual behaviours become less frequent
It is important to note that the student is not yet at baseline and is vulnerable to re-escalation
Child should be in a quiet place with no audience
Allow calming down time for the child and for yourself and show concern and support. Understand that the child will be experiencing:
A level of exertion required during the crisis phase now exacts its toll
They may go through a stage of emotional withdrawal, crying, exhaustion, fatigue, depression, muscles relax and they may slump forward
They may be thirsty, hungry or need to urinate
Child may feel remorse/regret and worry about consequences
Although tempting, do not show any hostility towards the child, don’t lecture or reprimand. It is just as important not to ‘forgive’ the behaviour but maintain what should be a constant in any teacher/student relationship you retain your respect for that child. After all, they are doing the best they can.
There is a time to debrief the incident with the child, only when they have recovered and there has been a significant time gap so they can examine the whole cycle focussing on empowering the child to de-escalate before they get out of control. You can do this by:
Use open ended questions with a long wait time and LISTEN. You don’t need to fill the silences
Discuss with the child what they could do differently next time. Let the ideas come from the child … don’t give them the answers
Have the child be specific about what they will do next time, telling you how that will look and sound. This helps them move towards change and growth and avoids ‘parrot responses’
Be sure you don’t reward the student for the outburst by giving too much attention like providing a special activity or rewards, that would only reinforce the behaviour.
Now is the time to talk about what happened but not why. Stick with what you saw and heard and focus on how the child calmed down … what was helpful?
Help them make-a-plan!
Finally look after yourself. This can be done by:
Writing a report stating who, when, where, what happened, injuries, follow-up. This can be quite cathartic! Date and sign it.
Revisiting your crisis plan with a support person and make any necessary adjustments.
No taking the event personally. These children have complex problems and you are not a therapist.
Look after yourself at home as well, you can exercise, do relaxation exercises, listen to music or whatever you find enjoyable.
At the core of our work is the idea that stress is the determining feature of behaviour. In previous essays we have explained that when our homeostatic equilibrium, our sense of calm and security is threatened we become stressed and then we act to deal with that stress; we choose our actions from the memories of what worked before. However, there are situations that are so threatening the stress overwhelms the usual process and we lose control of our behaviour.
The following diagram illustrates the changes in which we use our brain to deal with increasing levels of stress.
This complex diagram outlines the process of the brain ‘gating down’ the rational thought process as stress levels rise. When we are calm we can access the neo and sub cortex and we can make considered decisions, this is the part of the brain we want in our classrooms. But, as we become more aroused our decisions are more ‘emotional’ and their rationality deteriorates until we just respond in a reflexive manner.
There is a gender difference that develops as the stress levels rise, although this difference is not exclusive; males externalise their distress and while females internalise their disturbance. It would be easy to explain this difference citing the cultural environment in which children have traditionally been raised and I believe this is a contributing factor. However, an alternate explanation has been offered. In the early stages of human evolution, the time when humanoids organised into groups to increase their chances of survival and reproduction a primary threat to safety was a deadly clash with another tribe.
The result of such clashes was the killing of the adult males and the capture of females and children, this practise was still present in the war in Kosovo in 1998-99; at this time Serbia forces executed many Albanian men while seizing the woman and children. In these circumstances the best chance of survival for men is to fight or flee, outward actions while for woman and children it is to comply. Another characteristic that supports this reasoning is that, if you examine the suspension rates of children, an indicator of acting-out dysfunctional behaviour the rates that boys are suspended jumps dramatically when they pass into puberty, that is they adopt adult male behaviours.
To return to the theme of this essay, when you are confronting a child that is out of control you have to understand they are incapable of engaging in any rational thought so, it is pointless talking to them. However, they are very able to hurt themselves or others so you have to intervene.
Most importantly you have to have a pre-arranged plan of what to do when this situation inevitably arises. This plan’s foremost purpose is to protect the welfare and safety of all involved. This is why structure is so important – there is no doubt that you will be unable to remain calm in such a threatening situation that is, you will lose a significant capacity for rational thought yourself and so, having a structured set of steps you have to follow, that have been prepared in calm conditions will make sure you take the right steps.
The use of boundaries will help handle the crisis. Understand you will be threatened and make sure you keep your boundaries intact, this will help you stay in charge of the situations (see Boundary Considerations - 22nd October 2018 and Respecting Other’s Boundaries – 26th November 2018). You can effectively harness the power of boundaries by moving close enough to the child in question so you get their attention but not close enough to threaten them.
Now you have their attention don’t attempt to reason with them, there is no point but, in a firm, low voice, give them a short, clear instruction. When you have done this disengage from them don’t give them the opportunity to engage you. The thing is in most cases the child will accept a direction that gives them a way out of their predicament. At some level your authority will still have some influence.
This approach will not work in all cases, some children who have had a traumatic childhood will not be able to take advantage of your proposal. When facing an ongoing crisis, it is the teacher’s responsibility to:
Protect themselves – if something happens to them and they are unable to continue to function they are of no use.
Protect all other students and staff - it is often a good move to take all others out of the classroom or near vicinity for their safety and to remove the perceived threat the student might experience by their presence.
Protect the child as much as you can from being harmed, either physically or psychologically.
Protect the property.
In extreme cases the police may need to be called.
When the crisis is over you will experience an amount of pent-up emotions. It is natural to harbour aggressive, negative feelings towards the offending student and the unfairness of being placed in such a challenging situation. You may experience resentment, anger and fear because you have been psychologically and perhaps physically assaulted. This will pass; to facilitate your return to your equilibrium the following will help:
Be aware of your feelings
Don’t take it personally. The child has complex problems - it’s not about you
Debrief – Discuss the event with an appropriate colleague
Write a report stating who, when, where, what happened, injuries, follow-up ASAP. This can be quite cathartic! Date and sign it
Revisit your crisis plan with a support person and make any necessary adjustments
Look after yourself at home too - exercise, relaxation, music etc.
Dealing with children is not easy and it takes a special teacher who can turn-up day after day to work in such a volatile environment. It is important that you understand how to do this. Following News Letters will expand your knowledge in dealing with these explosive students.
The core quality that determines a secure sense of self is a personal acceptance within our community. This sense of self commences at birth and the first significant ‘community’ is his or her parents. When a child experiences nothing but affection and positive attention during these early years they will feel as if they are the centre of the universe and that’s how it should be. But at about age one, when they can move about they start to develop their independence. At the same time they start to move independently and being curious can get themselves into some dangerous situations. When this happens, they are told no for the first time! Often the message will be delivered in a sharp, attention grabbing outburst. There is nothing wrong with this action; the parents just want to keep their child safe but the child will be rejected for the first time!
The sudden attention-grabbing effect is necessary to stop the child, to get them to stop what they are doing - to ‘freeze’. In reality they do this and for the first time they experience ‘rejection’. Of course, the parents were doing the right thing, keeping their child safe but the child’s sense of rejection is real and all rejection is at the heart of shame.
The child will continue to explore the world and they will continue to make mistakes. The parents will continue to ‘stop’ them and show them the ‘right’ way to behave. These mistakes expose the child’s incompetence and they will be embarrassed by what they have done. This feeling of rejection of the inappropriate behaviour we call healthy shame. The point is that this rejection is of inappropriate behaviour; it is not the rejection of the person.
As an adult we should experience shame whenever we act in a way that is not true to our character and when we fail to do this we become embarrassed. Because the shame is about what we have done, that feeling is healthy. Healthy shame protects us both from the exclusion from our group and helps us understand the frailties of others.
Kids don’t get the difference between the action and the performer and so functioning parents have to make sure the mistaken behaviour is separated from the value of the child. Soon the child will understand that difference and grow up capable of experiencing healthy shame.
However, children from abusive parents are rarely taught this distinction. When their child makes a mistake they are often physically punished and/or verbally abused for that mistake, it’s the child’s fault. And all too often the parents expect them to complete a task that is beyond their capabilities. At a sporting event you see kids being scorned because they did not win. When they inevitably fail they are subjected to abuse and rejection.
Young children are incapable of understanding they are not old enough or strong enough to complete some task set for them and when they do not come up to scratch the only conclusion is they are stupid, weak and useless just like dad said they were. This is the core of toxic shame, they have not made a mistake; they are the mistake.
Students with toxic shame take this debilitating belief into school. At any level learning consists of trial and error and so it is at school, there will be the inevitable errors. To healthy kids a mistake informs them that this is not the right way to solve a problem. For the child with toxic shame the mistake is confirmation that they are not the right person to be in the class. These students fear the inevitable negative evaluation about their work and the resulting stress suffered will make any real learning impossible. The inevitable failure reinforces their sense of shame, this toxic shame.
How you interact with the student, who suffers toxic shame will make a big difference. Understand that when a student is faced with a new, challenging task their self-talk will be something like:
‘I can’t do this ……’?
‘Everyone else will laugh at my ……’?
‘I hate this ……’?
The destructive teacher, who may well be trying to challenge the student, will make comments that only reinforce their toxic opinion of themselves. These teachers use terms like:
‘What do you think you’re doing’?
‘Is this your best work’?
‘Why did you do that’?
A better way for the teacher to encourage a child is with comments like:
‘How can we make this ….’?
‘What can we do to ……?
‘What will it look like if ……’?
Remember you are asking the children to try and that for them is very threatening but if you take a work in progress and use terms like those above you have not rejected their efforts and you have indicated to them that they can continue to improve. It takes a lot of small steps to complete any journey so be patient, they can overcome their most faulty of beliefs.
I used to say to students I worked with they are perfect. Of course, that got their attention but I explained that it is humans make mistakes. I’m human so I make mistakes therefore I am a perfect human – I’m perfectly imperfect, so are they and so are you.
Teachers have always had to deal with anxious children from the first day at kindergarten to the last day of their tertiary entry examination and the years in between. At a basic level anxiety is another expression of fear and the two are products of stress. No surprise here and in other Newsletters (particularly the 19th June 2017) this is discussed in detail. To recap stress in itself is not a bad thing, we need a level of stress to engage in the world but too much stress or distress will hinder performance especially in the classroom.
Anxiety is that lingering apprehension or almost chronic sense of worry about particular things or even life in general. Professionals would diagnose someone as having clinical, generalized anxiety if they displayed three or more of the following over a six-month period:
Restlessness
Fatigue
Concentration Problems
Irritability
Muscle Tension
Sleep Disorders
In general, anxiety is described in three ways:
Panic Attacks – where there is an immediate fear that the child is facing a catastrophe and has nowhere to go. These are generally short term and result in the child avoiding any situation that ignites that emotion. However, these situations can be really traumatic and move well beyond anxiety.
Social Anxiety – This is the fear and avoidance of any situation in which a child thinks they may be the centre of attention that can lead to their embarrassment. It is no surprise that social anxiety is the predominant form of stress in children, especially adolescents.
Generalized Anxiety – This is where the child worries over everyday things for months at a time. They are children who will avoid what we may consider mundane or are constantly seeking clarification or reassurance before they attempt a task.
The prevalence of anxiety at a clinical level is about 14.5% or one in seven Australians and in the majority of cases it starts in childhood. As with all things there is a coming together of genetics and environmental conditions that lead to anxiety but as always teachers can only impact on the environment in an attempt to limit the levels of anxiety in their classroom.
So, what to do? If you really have concerns about the level of anxiety of a student in your class then you must refer them to the school counsellor and/or tell the parents about your concerns. The latter is not as easy because this is news for whatever reason they don’t want to hear.
However, for the day to day running of the class, when you think a child is really anxious to the level you have concerns encourage them to talk about it. The following questions will assist both you and the child:
Tell me about how it feels being anxious?
What is making you anxious?
What do you fear will happen?
What does it stop you from doing?
A technique that can be effective is for the teacher to establish a procedure where they can give the child some space to calm down. This is a type of ‘time out’. In fact, you can empower the child to control his or her access to time out through some non-verbal cue. For example, the child could move an object on their desk that signals to the teacher that they are becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. The teacher would then ask that child to go and get something from say the principal or the office. Of course, the principal and the office would be aware of the purpose of the visit and provide that time out while the child remains in supervision. Just the provision of this retreat can be enough to alleviate the threat of anxiety and give the child a sense of control over their fears.
However, dealing with anxiety like all classroom activities is best served when the relationships between the teacher and the students along with the students’ relationships with each other are strong and positive. This, along with a calm and a really predictive environment will help minimize the impact anxiety will have in your classroom.
The particular qualities of early childhood abuse can create high levels of stress that in turn leads to the trauma of shattered expectations, the realisation of our own vulnerability and the capacity of others to commit evil acts. When this happens, infants and preschool-aged kids have not developed the cognitive ability to understand these concepts, but they are traumatized through their separation from security. It is this fear that generates the high levels of stress that fashions the neurological framework of the child.
The intricacy of stress has been described in previous Newsletters but in this work, we are only considering the reaction to very high levels of stress that are the result of the response to the very existence of the child.
The body’s response to threat makes sense when we consider the primary function is to survive, the other drive, to reproduce is not a consideration of the infant. So the response of the brain, the decision-making centre of our bodies, makes optimal decisions for the conditions that we are facing. This flight/fight response is purely instinctive because a young infant is incapable of either flight or fight so the activation of the automatic nervous system would be of little practical use.
The infants do however have the ability to respond in the third of the ‘3F's' (the first two are flight and fight) and that is to freeze. They dissociate. It was a fashion in the past that when children were crying in bed, they were attention seeking and the advice was to ignore them, they would eventually stop. There is some truth in this 'attention seeking' behaviour if the practice has been rewarded, but there are times when the baby is highly stressed, and when they do stop crying they have ‘given-up' on life.
However, when the threat occurs, the brain is awash with a chemical cocktail to prepare a fight/flight response. At the time the incoming stimulus quickly goes through the receptors, through the thalamus, the ‘clearing house’ of the stimulus on to the amygdala. The amygdala perceives the stimulus as representing a real, immediate threat and a sequence of events takes place to prepare the body—first to 'flight,' and if that is not an available option, to 'fight.'
This movement to flight/fight involves a series of synaptic signals that release a cocktail of chemicals that in turn dramatically change the physiological status of the body. This response is known as the general adaptive syndrome. The body is prepared to deal with the identified threat.
It is the importance of the amygdala in this process that results in its ‘abnormal' development. Because the function of the amygdala is important, it becomes more enlarged so it can better deal with future threats. The enhancement of the amygdala along with the resulting propensity to initiate the flight/fight response has a paradoxical effect. When these kids grow-up they become hypersensitive to a stimulus that resembles a threat. As a result, when they are in a situation that may look like a threat their amygdala is activated before they can make a considered judgment about the potential danger.
The second area of brain development that is affected by the conditions of elevated threat is in the ‘higher order' areas of the brain, the hippocampus, and the frontal lobes.
In the usual ‘general adaptive syndrome' process, when the threat is over the brain returns to rest. Within the complex chemical activity that achieves this is cortisol that washes across the brain. Unfortunately, if the threat is not ‘turned off' or the process is too frequent the constant presence of cortisol has a corrosive impact on the brain.
The hippocampus is reduced in size by as much as 12% and the frontal lobes as much as 20%. There are other parts of the brain such as the cerebellum that are also damaged, but it is the changes in the hippocampus and frontal lobes that cause trouble for the children in the future. It is in these areas that we develop the ability to make rational decisions and capacity to delay gratification. The hippocampus and the frontal lobes are at the cognitive heart of our success.
So children who have been abused are subjected to real physical brain damage, and that damage is handicapping the very processes that are needed if we are to help them overcome the dysfunctional behaviour that results from their history of abuse. They are more sensitive to stress and therefore more likely to react in their ineffective, habitual manner and are less equipped to make calm decisions required to avoid that dysfunctional habit.
The most significant advantage humans have over other forms of life is our ability to predict what will happen given a certain set of circumstances. So you can see predictability underpins expectations. When we recognise a set of conditions that led to us having a great time we get excited anticipating another positive experience. Conversely another set of conditions may provide us with a warning – we are not going to ‘enjoy’ what we expect next.
When a student enters a room they will be confronted with a set of features that they will interpret and then imagine what to expect. This connection drives the emotional content of their minds and good teachers know how they feel about what you provide is directly related to how they will engage in your lesson. If they expect to be bored they will be set up for boredom there will be no stress that calls for the child’s brain to attend – there is nothing worthwhile here. If they are afraid they will be primed for protection against your lesson and the stress levels will be elevated to a level that excludes cognitive thinking – nothing can be learned effectively.
The successful teachers want what I call a ‘Goldilocks’ brain one that’s not too hot – over stressed and not too cold – under stressed but one stressed just right! The way they will behave in a lesson is quite literally shaped by the way they feel.
Most significantly, both the student and the teacher’s expectation of a lesson depend on the experience of the previous lesson. So it is important that the teacher understands that how they present their lessons sets the expectations of the students now and in the future. We can’t expect the students to come into class just feeling good about your subject just because you like it but we can build up experiences of past ‘feel good’ moments that the kids will bring into the next lesson. It’s like banking, the more you put into building an expectation account the more interest you will get and that’s compound interest.
You have to remember that so much of their expectation is stored in the emotional area of the brain and this is why the relationship between teacher and student is the most significant factor in teachers being able to engage their students. This is particularly true for those ‘difficult students who have a history of failure. The successful teacher will develop a relationship with students and with the teacher’s support slowly change the student’s expectation about your lessons and their ability to learn.
Students with behavioural problems provide the greatest challenge to the teacher’s ability to engage them in learning. It is important to understand these students will minimize or misinterpret any positive stimuli. They either think they are not worthy or don’t trust the teacher’s motives. They are also hypersensitive to negative social cues and they are hyper-vigilant about potential threats. They also fail to understand or read non-verbal cues they don’t easily get what is presented to them and they are highly likely to be overwhelmed by the emotional content of any negative, incoming stimulus. All this history of failure means that to create expectations for success in children who have only experienced failure requires patience and quiet determination.
So what do we need to do? The following points will help:
Students decide how important the lesson is from how professional the teacher presents themselves. You need to look like a teacher – have your ‘teacher’s uniform on’, look like you love your work and most of all look like you are happy in their company.
Students register the importance of the lesson by the interest the teacher displays. How could we expect the students to be enthusiastic about maths if the teacher is blasé about solving simultaneous equations? Emotions are contagious and so is curiosity!
Messages about the effectiveness of the lesson come from the state of the room and the presentation of the lesson content. The recent discovery of Mirror Neurons (the subject of an essay on the Web Page) highlighted the importance of this point. A neuroscientist Iacoboni had volunteers watch films of people reaching for various objects in a tea time setting (teapot, cup, jug, plate of pastries, napkins) in different contexts. In every instance when the subjects saw the person in the scene reach for a cup, a basic set of ‘reaching’ neurons fired in the subjects. But different additional sets of mirror neurons would fire depending on what expected action was suggested by the setting. In one case the setting was neat and orderly as if the meal was about to be enjoyed. The player was about to drink some tea and one form of additional neurons fired. The other setting was cluttered as if the meal had been finished and the cup was ready to be cleaned up and there was a different set of neurons activated. The brain knew what was coming next! If the student comes into a room that is organised for learning their learning neurons will light up. If the room is untidy and dirty another set will fire.
There is a popular view amongst some educators that we need to get emotions out of the way so we can teach the kids but good teachers know that emotions are not add-ons that interfere with cognition. They are a fundamental element of why thinking and learning happens and emotions fire expectations. Through the child’s experience they learn to ‘know something’ that is about to happen so let’s make that quality learning!
The principals of the company have had long careers in education with a combined total of eighty-one years service. After starting as mainstream teachers they both moved into careers in providing support for students with severe behaviours.
